D3 body, D1 cock
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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