you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
