butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My feet surprised me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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