Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize