yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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