that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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