It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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