Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
