He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
