youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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