you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
