I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
A bitchslap is in order.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
