the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
