I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
