and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Do vagina's smell?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
