i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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