I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
