I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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