dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
