your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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