Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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