I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
