dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
