Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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