It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
