I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Never underestimate the power of titties
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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