Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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