i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
