that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My ATM looks so different sober.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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