I need to stop coming to work sober
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
