I cockslap morals
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i will never coherently bang her
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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