nut hugger
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
