No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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