Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No subtext here. People are naked.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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