I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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