Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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