Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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