boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
