Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Randomize
