I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Randomize