Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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