she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
