Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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