Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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