At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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