if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
