Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just want to make out with him forever
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
