we made out on top of his cat.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
