I'm so fucking centered right now
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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