you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
