no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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