I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
