I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
