you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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