I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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