In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
