wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Found the puke drawer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize