we're blogging at a bar
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
