Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
