OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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