There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
