Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
